Research is always being carried out on married life. This is important because we can all learn on how to avoid future conflicts in our own lives. So, what has a recent study found out about what causes most couples to argue?
Let’s start with what causes the least conflicts. Amongst these are annoying personality styles, friends, relatives, intimacy and commitment. Couples argue less frequently about bad habits, spending, work and job demands, use of leisure time, communication and distribution of household tasks.
More frequently couples (almost 40% of the time) argue about children. What the children are doing and why; what to do about it; what the child has done; discipline and who takes care of the child.
Children provide many happy moments. They are a real bundle of joy. They keep mum and dad on their toes. But when they interfere with the parent’s plans, which could be something as simple as talking on the phone, cooking, looking after other children, parents can have serious arguments as to who will deal with the difficult child. Then arguments can start as to who is free or not, who is at fault and who should deal with the child.
However, not surprisingly, the biggest cause of marital arguments is money. The lack of it, spending, wages, bills etc. This topic absorbs more time than any other when it comes to arguments. These disputes are serious because they can lead to anger, fights and feelings of depression. Conflicts about money are usually associated with disagreements about work. They lead to stress and tension.
How can these two major areas of conflict (children and money) be lessened?
Neither problem area is easy to handle, but couples should prepare themselves for it. Raising children is a joint area of co-operation. It will take a lot of good will and planning based on love for each other to work out a joint strategy of raising children. Time spent in prayer is very valuable.
It is not easy to resolve conflicts regarding money. Many tactics will need to be used, but again, there is a need for open communication and to have a realisation that none of these problems are beyond solving. Sometimes an outside source is needed to help provide couples through the serious issues. Again, God’s blessing which comes from unity with Him is so very important.
