On the night my husband died, I could not sleep, so I opened the Bible. The verse that popped out at me said “You plotted evil against me, but God turned it into good”.
All of a sudden, I had such clarity. Despite being married for 38 years, it took till the day he died to understand him and our life together. Your life does not have to be perfect if you give even a small part of yourself to God.
He was not a saint; he could be hard to get along with. He never conquered his demons; he lived with them and bore the burden they caused. As a result of this he understood the difficulties others were going through.
We both grew up in Catholic homes and were taught to love God and to live according to Christian principles. By the time we were adults our faiths gave us the desire to go into the world to do good and help people. My faith is of the heart and head. I understand theology which lies behind my faith. I have felt the love of God and the power that God gives to do his will. But my view of the world was idealistic.
His faith was from the gut. He did not worry about the theology. He did as his gut instinct guided him. He went into the community and tried to help wherever he could. He accepted people for what they are. He never judged anyone.
His faith was from the gut. He did not worry about the theology. He did as his gut instinct guided him.
When we first met, he would sometimes introduce me to people who made me uncomfortable. Some of them scared me. He took me outside my comfort zone. Therefore, he moved my boundaries. He helped me to see that I should not be afraid of them. All people are loved by God and are loved by God. We are like them and they are like us. I think I became a better person because of this.
We always opened our home to whoever came our way. He always first wanted to help others. We often shared many meals with family, friends and people we had just met. Some even come to live with us. There are a few people here who feel that my husband was like a second father to them. “I’m going to get the mail” meant that he had to find someone to talk to. His family was his love. He was happiest when we were all together. His family was his stability and strength.
Sometimes it felt that we were just stepping on our toes and wondered if we should just quit. But we continued to dance. We got better and better at it.
My daughter told me recently that she loved to watch us dance. She said that it looked like we are floating around the room. To do this we had to be totally in sync.
Through our years together, one or the other of us were out of step. But we continued to dance. Sometimes it felt that we were just stepping on our toes and wondered if we should just quit. But we continued to dance. We got better and better at it.
In the last few years we have been floating around the room.
Unfortunately, he has taken his last steps with me. He has let go of my hand and floated into the arms of Jesus.
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